Friday, November 22, 2013

My journey

This post is a lot for me. I need to remember these things. (Yes. I know it has been ages since my last post. Let's not talk about that.)
Let's go back to July. My life was trying to juggle. Newborn, going back to work,  my other two kiddos, and our house. See what is missing from the list. Yep. ME! I left myself out.  I was very overweight.  I weighed 184. At 5"3" that is a lot of weight for my short frame. I was always tried, always seemed to have a headache, and I turned to food and junk that only made me feel worse on a bad day. 
One day my husband told me he was watching the kids and to take 90min and go to the rec center.  I went and really enjoyed it. When i got home I was shocked how much happier I was. I knew it was from exercising.  I asked my husband to help me come up with exercises.  For the next three weeks I worked out six times a week. I was feeling awesome. I decided to start a workout program I had bought a long time ago. I dug out my Lindsay Brin pretty fierce DVD's read over the program and meal plan and decided I was going to do it. It was sixty days. I could do it!
I took my measurements and was ready! Day one kicked my trash. Day two I wanted to die. Day three I thought I was crazy.  This went on for the first two weeks.  I knew I had to keep going though. I loved the "high" I got from working out. I loved the break from life during workout time.
The hardest part at first was learning to eat better. I kicked soda and treats. I still had my yummy cheesy foods but in moderation.  I learned to eat less. I was overeating. I ditched the sugary breakfast and subbed it for cottage cheese and fruit.  Can I tell you how much better your day is with a good start!
At the end of the sixty days I was so proud. I did not miss a day. This means I went 8 weeks working out six times a week.  The number on the scale was down 22 and I had lost 22.5 inches. I looked better but most importantly I felt better. My life was better. I decided to do it again.  Today I just finished my 2nd time through.  People this means 120 days working out six times a week with not one miss!!!! Today the scale said 144. That means I lost 20lbs for a grand total of 40lbs. I lost 20 inches this time around too.
While I love that my body has changed that is not the most important.  I have changed my life for the better. I feel amazing.  I have so much more energy.  I play more with my kids. Cleaning takes less time.  I know how to eat better.
Here are a few things I learned. I ate too much crap. Junk and such is fine, but not needed. Always fun here and there. Counting calories sucks but doing it for a month helped me learn to eat the right amount.  Now I don't keep track I just listen to my body.  Eating out is possible. Just check menus and be smart...and of course here and there say what the hell to the menu and eat what ya want.
Again, that is not the best part. There are two sweet girls 6 and 4 as well as a baby boy. These kids see me exercising daily. The other day my 4 year old told me,"Mom, I am glad you exercise now because I know how to now." This melted my heart. I want my girls to grow up with the knowledge and tools they need to be healthy. I hope I can show them and teach them this. Example is key.
So what now? I plan on doing the next set of Pretty Fierce DVDs Lean Out. They are harder and I am ready for the challenge.  I have learned that I am pretty awesome.  I can push through anything. It is mind over matter.  I have learned that there is always time for what I make time for. I can decide what is important to me and make it happen.  I love myself and I am proud of myself.  I learned that to be a good mom, wife, person I need to put myself first. I have no more goals on where to be. I just want to stay healthy and happy.  I want to take care of the wonderful gift of a body I was given.
So there ya go. Here is to making it 60 more days.

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Happy One Month Lil Man!

My sweet Brigham,

Can you even believe it? You are ONE MONTH OLD today! I hardly can! This month sure has gone by quick! I am so very glad you have come into our lives! Your sisters just adore you. Abby loves to look at you and talk to you and wants you to look right at her! Jackie loves to hold you and help take care of you. Both can not wait until you can have a bottle so they can feed you. :)
So far you have been a pretty easy baby! You sleep! This is  huge improvement from your sisters so I will take it! At night you already do one good 4-5 hour stretch. Then your up every 2 hours to eat. You LOVE mommy and daddys bed though! We will have to fix that at some point but for now mom is just enjoying the cuddles all night long. :)
You LOVE to eat! You are getting so chunky I love it! I enjoy our time together while you eat. You have started staring right at me the whole time!

You just started making cute little noises. :) I sure love hearing you! You already made your first big trip! Mommys grandpa passed away and you flew with me to Colorado for the funeral. You were an angel the whole trip, and everyone loved meeting you!

Your dad is the nickname king! So far we call you Briggle. Since Abby is giggle. ;) We will see if it sticks and if a new one comes about!

I am excited to see what you learn in the next month.

I love you bunches and bunches!


Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Happy Easter!

These two got dressed up. Mommy and Brigham stayed home. ;)

Jackie and Brigham

Jackie is a great help with Brigham!  She loves to sing to him, pick up his dropped binki, pick him up when he cries, and gives him lots of kisses!
I love having bigger kids with our newborn!  Being a parent is pretty awesome.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Brigham Kirk Stell- The Birth!

I figure I better start this now or it will never ever get done. So while little man is napping I am going to attempt to write some of this.

We should start with his due date. Brigham was "supposed" to come to the world by 3/17/2013 (or so the "guesstamet was ;)) 3/17 rolled around but still no baby. Since we still had so much to do with our move I was somewhat hanging in there. I figured I was going to get more done with him inside even if i was miserable. :)
Monday 3/18 I went to the doc hoping for some good news. I was told I had made no progress. I do not know why it devastated me so badly, but man oh man was I upset! I still had so much to do, no baby, and could hardly do a thing. My sweet mom who was set to come on the 23rd decided to fly out to help! She truly  saved the day for me!
Wednesday we picked her up and got straight to work! She helped me unpack at our new place and helped me pack up at our old place. Wednesday and Thursday we got so so much done! It was awesome. Thursday was the first time since we found out we had to move I relaxed.
Friday morning (3/22) I woke up at 3 am to some intense contractions. After a while of feeling awful I decided I should start to time them and see if they were leading to anything. I was pretty happy/nervous when they were 3-5 min a part! I decided to just wait it out and see what would happen. I had been tricked before and they had stopped after a few hours. So I waited until Derek and Jackie got up for school/work. Still they were hanging in there. Every 3-5 min.  I told him to just go to work, but keep your phone nearby.  After about 45 min of him being gone, probing from my mom, and a call to the midwifes I decided I should go in. Since I was attempting a VBAMC (Vaginal Birth After Multiple C sections  It was important I got there early for some extra monitoring. We got there hooked up to the monitors. Derek then posted this pic to facebook.  I told him that was NOT okay and this meant we would be sent home. Well a few hours went by and I was still stuck at a 1 where I was out when we came in. So they decided it was best to give me some morphine and send me home to sleep. Devastated I took them up on their offer and asked them to strip my membrains.    
We sent home with a run by Dell Taco since I was STARVING. We made it home and I could hardly eat before I was OUT! I slept for a few hours waking up to contractions, but being on the drugs I went right back to sleep. After about 3 hours I could no longer sleep. The pain was too strong. I called Derek up and he wanted to go back in. Deciding my Son was never going to be born ( I am very logical while pregnant)  I told him I was going to take a bath. I took a bath and kept timing contractions. We were still at 3-5 min apart. My go in time. Still not wanting to go in I decided that they would just send me home we waited. We were hungry so Derek said he would take me to eat wherever I wanted then we had to go in. So we went to Nelsons.
I got my favorite a chicken sandwich and fries of course with custard!  It was yummy, but I was in so much pain I could hardly eat. I could no longer talk or do much of anything through contractions, but concentrate on breathing. My dear friend Adrienne told me I needed to go in as well.  Derek decided it was time to call them back and see what we should do. They talked to him for a while then wanted to talk to me. After our conversation they told me to come back on in.    
We got in got hooked up again, it was just after 7pm now. I only remember this because valet had just closed. So Derek had to drop me off then go park the car. I was now at a 2 so progress was being made and the contractions were a lot stronger. My most favorite of favorite midwifes. Jessica, was on call and came in to talk to us. She said that we were indeed in labor and were going to have a baby. She helped us get all checked in and we were on our way!
Still holding strong to my desire to go natural I got all set up with a birthing ball and lots of help from the midwife and student midwife with some counter pressure to help make it through the back labor. My mom and dad both came up as well so I had LOTS of support. I had to meet with the resident to sign my consent for a VBAC and my consent for a csection if needed. I was so happy that the resident was so pro vbac and wanted me to succeed. She was very nice.
I decided that I loved the birthing ball. It was my favorite place to sit. SO  stayed there a good amount of the time. Finally I was so tired I could no longer stand it. I had to climb into bed. I had my family turn on friends and I tried to zone out as much as I could. My sweet midwife kept cheering me on. About 3 am 24 hours into labor I was pretty much done. I started shaking I was so tired and I could just not function. Jessica came in and we talked about some pitcion and even an epi. She told me I could get it if  I want to help me have energy at the end to push. We decided it was best, and went with the lowest dose we could, so I could be with it at the end.

They came in and got me all drugged up and I slept. I was so nice to finally get some rest. I woke up a bit later and had energy! I was also making progress! I am sure the drugs helped, but I think the epi finally helped my body relax enough to move forward. Due to the csections the pitocion had to be administered very slowly. We made some good progress though!
With our move we had the Elders Qurm coming at 9am to help out. Derek felt bad but told them he would not  be there. We sent my dad with keys to take charge. :)
Around 10:30 am I finally got to the magic number a 10! Little Brigham was up pretty high though. We decided it best to wait an hour to push to let him make his way down lower. Around 11:20 he was in position all ready to go!
I got my pushing instructions and the fun started! I was told to be prepared for a few hours of pushing. Since I had yet to push one out it would be like a first time mom. I asked for a mirror. I wanted to see what was going on and I wanted the extra motivation to keep going. Luckily the epi was wearing off somewhat, so I could still go with my natural urges to push. Well we started and I was told I was an amazing pusher! Whoever knew there was such talent! Derek was an amazing coach and kept telling me how good I was doing and kept me going. Finally I could see little mans head. It was such a cool thing! I got SO excited!  A few more pushes and out he came! The cord was around his neck and he was a little blue, so he went straight to the peds team in the room to get help breathing. He was born exactly at Noon on 3/23/2013. He weighed in as my smallest kiddo yet! 7.13 lbs and 19.5 inches long.

After a few min they had him pink and breathing! He came straight to me and was placed on my chest. I was in love! I got to kiss his new little head and snuggle with him all I wanted. Finally he had to go back to get a few things checkout and I had to get all fixed up. In case you want to know this is what I look like after 33 hours of labor and not much sleep.

After they took him away I was given some more epi for the clean up. They dude gave me way to much and I was SO out of it. I could hardly focus on a thing and felt so weird. Luckily it went away quickly and they brought my little man right back! After they decided I was okay, I was taken to my new room.
We made sure to right away switch his hat so everyone knew who he cheered for. We spent the day in love with our little man and had a few visitors come in and out. My back started to spasm. We are guessing it is due to the 33 hours of back labor. Not the nicest thing. So i got a heating pad to sleep with. When I woke up the pain was gone! YAY!
It was all in all a wonderful experience  I am so glad I had a chance to have a VBAC. I will forever be grateful to the Uof U hospital and midwifes for providing us with a wonderful time and never once pressuring us to go the  csection route. I was so amazed at how quickly I could get out of my bed! Within a few hours I was walking around and using the bathroom! I also could cough, laugh, and sneeze! I think that has been the weirdest part. I am so used to suppressing those, but I can do it and when I do my insides DO not feel like they are dying! It was amazing. After meeting a few more docs all who had something to say about his hat we added this to our room.
It was so funny all the pro and negative comments it sparked. ;) I decided since our move I should stay the 2 days in the hospital. I figured if I went home I would just try to do too much and it would not be good for anyone. Thanks to my mom who took care of the girls Derek was able to spend the whole time with me! :) I am not sure he would agree it was as great as I thought it was. I got as much sleep as I could and just rested. I was nice. Even if they bring you dinner at 430.
Monday came and we got all ready to go home. I was still weired out that I could leave so quickly!

We are now home and still recovering. I feel so much better then before. I am reminding myself I still need to rest so I am trying not to do too much. I am spending my days and nights nursing and cuddling. :)

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Girls meet Brigham

Due to hospital rules kiddos under 14 are not allowed. Dang rsv season! So the girls had to wait to meet little brother.  Just like I thought they were in love! They could not get enough of him. Their cute faces say it all.

Abby loves Brigham

Miss Abby is a sweetheart.  Today when I took a shower she was worried about me leaving Brigham alone. So she sat by him until I was done. She gave him his binki. Sang songs.  And held his hand. Love my kiddos!