wow
so i was reading the BYU paper today, (well its Fridays paper) and this article was in the opinion section I really don't know what to say to that except, WOW? Really? like i said can not find the words to say to dear Andrew...What do you guys think??
7 comments:
Wow this guy seems really bitter. He must have been stood up by a girl who went to go see Twilight instead!
I might get shot for this, but I agree with him. (Don't hurt me!) I think that it is a HUGE double standard in the media right now. It is so easy to say to men not to look at pornography, but it is not so easy to say to a woman don't read a romance novel that appeals to you emotionally and makes you discontented with your spouse. I know it is not a popular idea, but I agree with what he said. I have seen lots of women in my wards and in my work environment that start reading these romance novels about perfect men who are romantic, sexy, perfect, handsome, and in all ways fulfill the woman's needs with no thought of their own and never have a conflict and becuase of that they begin to wonder what is wrong with their marriage and their husbands. I do think it is a slower process than pornogrpahy, no less addicting, but I think that any woman who is deeply entrenched in romance novels about impossible men is causing just as much damage to her husband's self esteem and to her marriage. Does that mean I have not read the Twilight series? No. In fact, I own them. I just think that women need to be very careful with what they read and how much of that kind of thing they read. Porn is more socially targeted, but I think that impossible romances that make women question themselves and their husbands is just as poisonous to a happy, healthy relationship/marriage. Sorry, I know this is the longest response ever, but I feel very strongly about it. Women need to realize that it is dangerous and just as hurtful to a man to feel like he is not enough as it is for a woman to feel so. Women usually have romance novels become addicting and hurtful over something like porn because they are wired emotionally. They are not wired visually like men are. It doesn't mean that women can't become just as addicted to romances that will tear up any relationship as men can become addicted to porn. To me, there is no difference between visual porn and literary porn in the affects it has on the person, and on the relationship. There are even certain female LDS authors that I lovingly call, "female porn writers" becuase they don't endorse healthy happy relationships with normal men and women. I will not name names, in case someone reading this likes these particular authors. I have been fair, I have read a few of their books since it is part of my job as the manager of an LDS bookstore, and I was disgusted. Okay, I am off my soap box, I promsie! :) Sorry, I am not out to accuse anyone or point fingers, I just want all of the women out there to BE CAREFUL and don't get too sucked into a type of man that doesn't exist.
Sorry Jess, but honestly I HAVE to say it.....
ONLY AT BYU.
I second Plain Jame's comment...
Goodness. lol Jess. Well, that guy is definitely taking it to the extreme! We'll see how well he can get a date later because of it! :)
And I am not one to argue cuz everyone has their own opinions but I personally (my own opinion) do not think we can say Twilight or whatever is literary porn. Yes, it is portraying the 'ideal man' (although calling a vampire that could kill bella at any moment is hardly ideal) but still. Everywhere we look in LDS General Conferences, books on marriage, lessons in church---all have information that could lead one to being dissatisfied with their spouse. As in, perhaps your husband isn't a priesthood holder and you hear a general conference talk on how men should honor their priesthood and BAM, you're dissatisfied with certain things in your marriage. Or you're reading a book on different ways to improve your marriage and realize how many of those things don't happen in your own as it is. Its good to have examples around us that are ideal to help us want to improve our own marriages. I don't think we can blame a book, or type of book, or romantic movie, or whatever. Yes, there are certain romance novels that could be considered literary porn (aka pictures on the front of half naked girl and boy at your local bookstore). Twilight is NOT that book. In fact, I think it teaches a lot of values that we don't see in popular fiction nowadays. Chastity until marriage for example. It isn't perfect, but it isn't literary porn or something that is going to tear marriages apart from dissatisfaction. If that happens, there were problems in the first place far worse than anything a book could have done.
But, that's just my opinion. :)
and just real quick, megan, i do think what you're saying is important too. Women do need to be careful that in seeing all these ideals that we don't let it become a negative thing in our own marriages. Or become dissatisfied because everything isn't "perfect". :)
Danielle, THANK YOU! :) I am so glad that you took it how I meant it, not trying to rip Twilight to shreds or anything. I enjoyed Twilight, and I agree that it is probably not the book that will destroy marriages, but I do think they exist. I meant more the books you talked about with the half naked everyone on the front covers! :) I have a rule when I am buying a book, if I can flip to 4 different parts of the book and not find anything questionable in it, I am usually safe. Usually those types of romance have enough crap in them that you will find SOMETHING in 4 tries! I am grateful that you understood what I meant by it and didn't get mad and offended. I have just seen a lot of heartache stem from women getting too attached to an ideal, but I agree that it may stem from something else and certain literature might exploit that and become the catalyst that tips it over the edge. I just want the women out there to be so careful not to let it seep into their relationships that are probably wonderful already. I know that I am madly, irrevocably, and wildly in love with my husband and that Twilight (or anything else I have read and seen) has not changed that, but I just don't want those seeds of discontent to be sewn in any one else's relationship either. Thank you again for taking my post how I meant it, you rock! :)
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